This morning, I and one of my housemates met my teacher in town to catch a taxi to a village near Tule, the home of the largest tree. Unfortunately, the road was very, very crowded and eventually turned out to be blocked – we would have to walk the rest of the way, about 3-4 kilometres. I was quite pleased, as it was nice to have a little walk but the other two were a little appalled. It must be very galling for others how I chirp up at a hint of adversity. Anyway, much of the walk was quite pleasant as the road was closed for a bicycle race so the only traffic was the occasional sudden gust of wind raised by a hundred or so cyclists bunched together and zooming past.
Eventually we got to our destination, the home of a lady who has learnt the knowledge of herbs and traditional medicines from her mother, who was famous in the surrounds of Oaxaca for her knowledge. The mother, before, and now the daughter, perform the limpia, the Mesoamerican physical and spiritual purification. It was a pretty, dark, cool little house with pops of colour here and there – an empty house actually, as it belonged to the brother of the woman who herself lived just down the road but used this for limpia.
She asked us why we wanted a limpia. I said there was a blockage and a running away after my mother’s death. Is this true? It was at the time, and certainly I’ve been perpetually restless, running all around the world, for a few years now. My companion – I don’t know what she said as I’d stepped away to give her privacy, but before we went she didn’t seem to have any strong thoughts particularly. Nevertheless, she went in first and we heard her weeping loudly. She returned and it was my turn.
One is not allowed to take any metal in, so I had to remove my watch, and jewellery and my glasses. So, blinded, I entered. What follows is, for this reason, rather fuzzy. The room was brightly lit, and heavily scented with different flowers and burning herbs. I took off my sandals and sat in a chair, my bare feet on two little piles of leaves and red flowers, I think roses. As I put my feet down the fragrance rose, intoxicating. She put a little brazier in front of me, with herbs burning, and told me to close my eyes and to breath in the scent, feel it flow within me, and breath out the impurity.
I am not a very spiritual person, or even a meditative type, but I tried hard to follow instructions. And so, as I breathed, various scents came to me. Leaves and flowers were brushed against different parts of my body. Smoke surrounded me and blew at me, headily scented like tobacco or cannabis. I felt her rub scents into my skin and, vigorously, them into my hair. She touched the top of my head and chanted to free me of sadness.
I felt that sadness rising in my throat, like a little hard nut was lodged in my heart but sloughing off its skin, layer by layer, like an onion. Did it exist before or was it brought into existence? It’s hard to say. In any event as I breathed, eyes shut, I started curling over, until my face was in my hands and I was crying. The rubbing of scents and the chanting intensified and then stopped. I felt something against the back of my neck – her mouth or an instrument, and she sucked in the bad vapours a few times and spat them away. I straightened up again, and then cold fragrance dripped down my neck, front and back, and she pushed a handful of leaves under my shirt, over my heart. Keep it there for a while, she said, in Spanish. She rubbed something on my chest, and as she did so, it became hot, yet not burning. And she said, breath out the impurity, expel it from your lungs. So I did.
How did I feel when it finished? Not relieved, not lighter, as one is supposed to, I think. Tired, certainly. I’m not much of a weeper and I am not sure that hard nut in my heart exists unless I make it exist. But it was certainly a very interesting experience, and one that I was able to get into more than my usual watching from afar. I kept the leaves in my shirt till I returned to my room, when I reaised that they were turning the fabric green. So I have taken them out but that mix of fragrances remains on my skin.